Granny's got a Mangle

 

Three Little Maids from School are we!

 

 

Me Tarzan, You Jane!

"Can I come?"

"Suppose so, just don't get in the way" 

 "You look like a monkey!"

 "No, I look like Tarzan!" 

"Stand back, this is too technical for girls"

 "Why?"

            aarh        aarh     arh      aaarh     arh"

"aarh       arrh        arh    aaarh        arh 

"Omph!"
"IMPRESSIVE!!"

Limping in Second!

I'm dressed as a Pirate with a monkey on my shoulder,

it's something I'd like to be when I'm a little older.

Maybe I'll sail away and find some buried treasure,

bring it back, settle down and live a life of leisure.

Its not fair!   Ian has won, and now he's laughing at me
 I can't imagine what he'll become, he's come dressed as a tree!

So that's where Big Ted went - Traitor!!

Fetch out the Bath

I'd played on the muck stacks and come home 'black bright'

Mi Mum got the bath out and its not Friday night!

It lived on a peg at the top of our cellar

But sat by the fire when it was bad weather

 I'd splish splash about and make quite a din

The fire kept the bath hot because it was tin!

A bath in the kitchen?  You'd think there'd be troubles

but I was discreet, because of the bubbles! 

Bubbles

 Muck Stacks   =  http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/481952

'Black Bright'  = covered in shiny black coal dust 

Old Remedy

I've got a wheeze, a sniffle and sneeze,
a cough too, and I'm thinking I'm sick
I've gone to see Granny,
and because she's so canny
 she slaps on a poultice right quick.

If that doesn't ease, she gets out the goose grease
and splothers me head to toe.
It does no good to me,
just makes me oilee
and dogs follow where ever I go!

Goose Grease Granny

Goose Fat Information Service link!!!

http://www.goosefat.co.uk/page/history

My Uncle Ken

Way up the mountain beyond all the houses,.

My Uncle Ken ripped a hole in his trousers

The wind was gale force and the weather was freezing

and the hole in his trousers just let the breeze in.

But he kept on going, and that blew my mind!

A true pioneer, at least from behind!

Uncle Kens Windy Gap!

Stanier 'Black 5'

With tremendous roar the Black Five exploded from the tunnel,

with fire, steam, soot and smoke blasting from its funnel.

The Express train raced toward me, the bridge began to shake;

but I was standing very still, ready to accept my fate.

It was getting closer still, my heart began to race

"Thats just Brilliant" I shout, a smile across my face.

The Black Five passed beneath, just inches from my feet

and covered me with soot and steam - that was a proper treat!

Stanier 'Black 5'

Link for more on the Stanier 'Black 5' 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LMS_Stanier_Class_5_4-6-0

Granddad, That's not a Sixpence!

When going to the shops one day

my Granddad found a tanner;

and ever since we passed that way

we'd bend down in his manner.

We didn't mind what people thought

or if they found it strange.

We knew that one day we would find

some more lost loose change.

He'd prod things with his walking stick

at things I'd think were funny

from bottle tops to bubble gum,

saying  'Where there's Muck, there's Money'

So I'd follow close behind him

and try to do the same.

He made me laugh my Granddad 

and we often played that game. 

"Wotcha found Granddad?"

'Tanner' = small silver coloured coin equivalent to six pre-decimal old pennies (sixpence) worth about two and a half  decimal pence or 12 cents and withdrawn as currency in 1971.

Great Expectations

Super duper Mini Cooper,

excellent Steam Roller,

Half a pound of Sugar Mice,

Bubble Gum and Cola.

Thats the Lucky Bag I'd like.

But its not the one I bought.

Mine contained some chalky sweets

and a tiny plastic goat!

Thaddeus 'playing the goat'!

Go Faster Dad!

My Dad has oiled my stabilizers,

now my bike goes faster.

He didn't take the tether off

we're heading for disaster.

Round and round the bandstand

of his cries I take no heed,

for I am having none of it

and just increase the speed!

Lets Go Faster Dad!

Dam Buster

I've now upset the 'Parky',

I've gone and built a dam.

He's waving at me through the trees,

What a silly man

He said it's irresponsible

and not to try my luck.

I told him that I'm sorry,

and blamed it on the duck!

Dam Building Duck

Handmade by Granny

I've got a balaclava.

It's made from scratchy knitting.

It's handmade by my Granny,

and causes endless itching.

I have to wear it everyday.

'Specially when it's cold.

Granny says it suited me,

but then she's very old!

Proud Granny

Intruder Fast Approaching

My cat hates the dog next door

he's gone to steal its dinner.

when cunning and size is on his side,

there can only be one winner!

Window of Opportunity

Alien Abduction

No one believed Froggella when she claimed her children were taken away by Aliens!

Alien Abduction by Jam Jar

I saw a Tiddler....

My bathing costume was knitted.

Imagine the shock that I felt

when getting it wet for the first time,

I discovered I needed a belt!

Bearcat 4x4

I've got a great trolley.

It goes one mile per lolly,

 home made from a plank and a door.

Its got some old pram wheels,

shows a clean pair of heels,

and powered by Jane, who is four!

The Girl from Next Door

There's a shout up from Mum

"Are you still up there Son?

Its Jane, she's come round to play".

"But she's wearing rouge

and her Mother's Red Shoes

You think I'm playing? - NO WAY!!!!"

 

He Sent for Plans, and Everything!

My Dad, he made me a present,

It's attached by a spring to the door.

It's designed for kids that are lonely,

and it's called  'The One Boy See-Saw'

 

Cat Scene Investigation

There's a bird on our step

that's suspiciously dead,

Left by a cat who is cunning.

While investigating the scene

he'd crept in unseen

and was helping himself to our pudding!

Only Child's Best Friend!

  I had a cat called Thaddeus,

He taught me how to fight.

He singed his fur on our open fire,

but we put him out at night!

 He used to jump onto my pram,
just staring, if you please!
I gave him all my baby milk,
 he gave me all his fleas! 

Thaddeus - Crafty Cat